Wednesday, January 09, 2008
I just realised it is time to blog when there's too much I want to express using MSN nick and personal message. All these bottled thoughts and emotions are bursting at the seams and before my insanity crumbles, I HAVE to blog.
These days I felt myself so detached from the world. I'm physically there, peaceful and all but the inner part of me is constantly engaged in a battle that's happening in my mind. I have too many thoughts; I'm a thinker by nature and I highly suspect that my brain doesn't stop functioning even when I'm sleeping. This explains the dark undercircles.
I keep trying to weave a reason for everything and anything that is taking place around me. Why do humans keep hurting their fellow species? Why is life sometimes beyond what 'unfair' can describe? How do they wear a friendly mask before those people they don't like? How simple is Joseph's life when it only revolves around food, toys and family? These questions are like a circle. I think, only to find myself back at the starting point again. Grudgingly, I have to come to terms with the answers I seek but not found.
Somehow, I thought I had more or less grasp the concept of the third question. And I'm hating it and the person it is making me become. So pissed at myself. And I suspect that I have a spilt personality. Two very much different person in school and at home. I'm so easily affected by the environment I'm in.
OKAY. It's already 9 days since it's 2008. I haven't make any resolutions or wishes for this year. I'll make a list soon. My major wish for this year is to have 36 hours a day and the extra 12 hours will be used for sleeping. See, I told you NY wishes don't come true. Hahahaha... My reasonable wish is for my father to be well, healthy and fatter soon. I think this one will come true. And then my resolution is to lose weight (this has been the No. 1 priority ever since YEARS and YEARS ago). Another resolution of mine is to find a part-time job, chip into my family finances every month and be financially independent (already done). The third most important resolution is to be a nicer and friendlier person. I dount I can do this. The closer I am to someone, the less friendly I become. Weird but true.
Okay, there's so much more to write but I have to stop. AMIC is screaming for my immediate attention.
Oh, before I go, I think Joseph should be called 'Loafy' instead. He looks almost like a big loaf of bread (color, size but minus his body odour) and I think he's getting overweight for a Miniature Pinscher breed. Okay scratch that; he's no longer miniature.
