Sunday, October 28, 2007

Today is the last day of tuition with Yiting. Time really flies; it seemed only yesterday when she rang me up wanting my help in maths. I'm going to miss those tuition sessions with her and how we always got carried away with talking. That's what you get for putting us together.

She really is a special kind of friend and how long have we known each other? Probably 9 years or so. This friendship is still ongoing and I feel blessed and really fortunate to know her. She's the one of the few friends I have who always understand. You know, it takes more than a miracle to meet somebody and become besties with them.

To me, a sturdy friendship isn't built on gossips or secrets. It's built on trust. How do you think we managed to keep it going?

On Friday, she showed me some quotes which I think she was referring to me. I didn't tell her about my insecurity yet she knows. She knows that I'm over-protective of myself; that core of my heart is out-of-bounds for anyone/everyone and that the indifference I always show reflect my fear of getting hurt.

Gosh... how often do you think you can meet someone like this?

I'm truly blessed. =)

Saturday, October 20, 2007

And so, I'm back from Genting. (^^,) Here's the evaluation of the trip:

Weather: Since I rarely went outdoors, I couldn't say much about this except that it had been really cold when I alighted at Genting at 4 plus in the morning. My insides were sort of bubbling with cold for approximately 30 minutes. Other than that, Genting's climate is cool but not cold; meaning it's way better than Singapore.

Lodging: The bed was good, the pillow was very good and the hair dryer was excellent. The only thing was that we had to wait till 1p.m. before we managed to get a room. So, what did we do before during the 9 hours wait? We slept uncomfortably in the first world hotel lobby and I THINK that my grandma talked throughout the 9 hours.

Food: Nothing much to say but I'm very well-fed. The pizzas there were very cheap, only S$6 per person and we couldn't finish it. Oh, and I meant pizzas from Pizza Hut. The dim sum there was very very delectable. Too bad there's no takeaway. Oh gosh, I'd put on weight again but what's the purpose of going on a trip if we restrict ourselves on our diet? Haha~

Shopping: Bought stuff at a much-cheaper-than-Singapore's price. Love it. It's worth it just to go there to shop. No joke. There's a hole in my pocket now.

Overall: Well, I did enjoy the trip so my complaints are minimal. =)

-*-

School's reopening again and I got into the same class as LPG and Gracecia. That makes us classmates for two years and that's like WOAH~ I think I'm going to be stuck with either or both of them till I graduate... Haha... no pun intended. And guess what Gracecia even got into the same class as me for CDS... lol... you simply can't escape God's plan. Hahaha~

Sad, not going to be in the same class as Aili. Weird. And Aili, if you're reading this, I just wanna say 'Don't worry, you're going to be fine.' We'll have lunch together whenever we can yah... I'll still help you with stuff you don't know. So basically, nothing really changes. At least Faiz is with you. What doesn't kill you only make you stronger.=)

Timetable for next semester is very packed - that's what I think. What's going to happen to all my writings? Sian. There's no running away from Paul or Nie Nie this sem so what's going to happen to me? I don't know. Just gotta embrace the things I can't change. Hah!

I guess I will be just fine. Like as always. (^^)

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

I took an unintentional glance at the calendar and realised, much to my shock and dismay, that it's already October. I'm still living in September. Oh wait. I'm not so sure about the 'living' part. Without school, I felt blissfully detached from the hustle and bustle around me, which included forgetting actual days and dates. The relatively long stroll at the Mall just now confirmed that. I was engrossed in my own head that I don't even know what took place around me. It's not that I mind.

So... 3 quarters of the year 2007 belongs to history now. It felt pathethically short yet undeniably long.

Uncle had left for 8 months but the ache still bugs me like a fresh wound. I can still remember the bits and pieces that happened in the hospital; how my grandmother collapsed onto the ground when her son was forcedly wheeled into the OT, how my mum had went berserk when it was beyond her capabilities to stop the police from blocking the way that leads to her brother, how the policemen had scoffed at us even when we were the one that're going to grieve.

And I can't forget the way we stood at his bedside trying every mean to make him open his eyes, the way we begged for time and the way my sister took out her anger and anguish at every object that was within her reach. I can't forget how I tried to remain calm, despite the overwhelming surge of agony, in order to hold my mother back; how I had composed myself such that I could cope with the test on next morning and how I had coax my brain to believe that nothing had happened so I could behave normally in school.

I could see all of above in my head, like a movie. If you think that you're 'suffering', then stop, think again.

Didn't tell my woes to most. Kept most people in the dark at the situation I was going through 8 months back so that they wouldn't ask. Realised that I'm pretending all along when it dawned on me that we've really lost him, that I hadn't accepted his death. Had to pick myself up all over again.

8 months are short, but it's long enough to make me realise that I'd to move on.

Why can't others do the same?