Sunday, April 29, 2007

I cried in the bus just now.

It was after tuition, one that didn't progress smoothly, and worsened by frequent pangs of headache. My emotions were still in check when I waited for the bus to come probably because of the fact that I'm concentrating on the music blasting off my earpiece. After I boarded the bus and found a seat by the window, I slipped once again into my brooding mood. That brooding wasn't anything like any other. To me, it was melancholic.

The song by Guy Sebastian was ignored until it was nothing more than a background noise. The bus moved along the expressway and that was when I pondered about this:

"Why do some people leave our lives so abruptly?"

I was wrong when I thought I couldn't grasp the answer. But somehow, I know it. They leave not because they want to, but because they had to.

The truth sank in and the tears came out. My heart wrenched terribly and the bottle where I kept my feelings broke. Everything just spilled. It was realization, I guess. He's gone forever and I'll never see him ride that bicycle and call me again. I truly miss him and I want him to come back.

Mayday's rock song seemed out of place. I wasn't as happy as the song sounded.

The bus was rather empty despite it being a Sunday and people are too occupied with their own stuff to notice her sitting there, trying desperately to wipe the tears away with the back of her hands. At that point of time, she was truly alone and she appreciated it.

Minutes later, I alighted. I know its time to reel the tears back and stop crying. Cos' I'm not alone anymore.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Which Season Are You?

You're Most Like The Season Winter ...You're often depicted as the cold, distant season. But you're incredibly intelligent, mature and Independant. You have an air of power around you - and that can sometimes scare people off. You're complex, and get hurt easily - so you rarely let people in if you can help it. You can be somewhat of a loner, but just as easily you could be the leader of many. You Tend to be negative, and hard to relate to, but you give off a relaxed image despite being insecure - and secretly many people long to be like you, not knowing how deep the Winter season really is.Well done... You're the most inspirational of seasons :)
Take this quiz!

Monday, April 23, 2007

More and more commitments and responisbilities are coming my way and so, please do not add on further to my burden with things I don't have to do.

I swear, someday the tears will be unleashed without warning and I'm not going to stop. I will cry it all out. I just hope that it won't be in school.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

This post came a day late. Initially, I wanted to update this rusty blog yesterday along with the blogskin but unexpectedly, the skin took me too long. I guess was walking in circles when I tried to make the skin, the picture to be precise. I spent 3+ hours on a picture that turned out to be a total flop. So no choice, I had to redo again. Well, at least I'd gotten another thing done this holiday. (^^,)v

Anyone in TP should know by now (smack yourself if you don't) that the semester is kicking off on Monday, which is like the day after tomorrow. I think that God really loves me cos' He had put Gracecia & Aili in the same class as me. I had prayed that He put someone I can get along with and is previously from TF03 in the same class as me this year. But he went a little more and gave me two that had been part of the usual clique. I seriously must thank Him for that.

Speaking about school reopening, the timetable was released on Thursday and I winced at the timetable. Hey TP, I don't think the timetable is well-planned at all. In fact, it pretty much sucks. Till now, I'm still digesting the fact that 3 of my school days start at 8 in the morning. The only console I can get are the Tuesdays, whereby school ends at 1. Hee. Excellent.

I hope that the subjects will be okay, though I'm not pinning much hope on Poh teaching AIMM. This guy, he speaks too fast and my hand has problem keeping up with the speed. Maybe into the third week or so, I will give up trying to note down what he says. It wouldn't surprised me. Oh yah, right now I thought of another consolation - I am not getting 'Gracecia's Affair Guy' for any of the tutorials or labs. That itself is enough for me to smile all day.

Another thing about school - I pray that my new classmates are nice people. Nice as in not self-centered, not attention seeking, not bitchy, not too pretentious. Oh, I think I'm expecting too much but we'll see.

Two months just flew by and I'm getting back to school again. Not exactly ready but doesn't mind going back either. Just simply neutral.

-*-

This holidays, I had not been a loafer lazing around at home slacking all day. I spent a good 4 weeks at LEHMAN BROTHERS INC. where I got good experience about office interpersonal skills. I have also realised that adult world is nothing like it seems on the outside. It is lonely when you are accompanined by nothing but work and what indeed are you pursuing by earning so much money but losing your time with your family?

So I'm sure that school is way better than work. And the thing I have to do is to cherish the rest of the journey called 'studying'. Studying is good and earning money pale in comparison to it.

The rest of the holidays were spent catching up with friends and going to places which I had rarely been to, for example, Kinokuniya@Orchard. That place is equivalent to Treasure Island for bookworms and of course, I was delighted the moment I stepped inside and it was 3 hours later did I step out. I guess Dunman's motto did get emblazoned on me, "Knowledge the Torch of Life".

Next up was Zoo Outing organised with courtesy to Aili and the M.A.C outing (as quoted from Maisharah). Animals in the zoo kept showing their butts to me without any hint of modesty and I have found out Juan's greatest fear *evil grin*.

Went to Ikea with relatives within the two weeks too and I came home telling my mother that I want to change the layout of my room but she firmly objected due to fengshui purposes. Hence I have no choice but to abort that idea. I bought this net thing from Ikea for $7.90 and till now, I don't what to do with it. Speak of buying on impulse.

The catching up with Melissa on Thursday was great too. And I had watched 'Meet the Robinsons' with my sis too. The whole movie was about 'KEEP MOVING FORWARD' but disappointingly, it was a tad too short. I still like 'The Incredibles'. Lol.

So, this vacation on the whole was fulfiling.

Great.

-*-

A few things about Realization:

I have realised that tears convey more than what words could ever say.

I have realised that every relationship has an expiry date.

I have realised that when you have nothing to lose, you show your true character.

I have realised that no matter how many times I pray, I only get what I rightfully deserve.

I have realised that words had hurt me more than the wounds I had suffered in life.

I have realised that I am better when I am silent.

I have realised that if you make decisions with your heart, you are bound to regret then later in your life.

-*-

That's about all. =)

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