Thursday, November 30, 2006

Everytime I find back that faith that keeps me going, something bad always comes into the picture and destroy it. Till yesterday, I never knew that Allison needed you that much. She cried over the phone, just rambling on and on about how she wished things could go her way and her regret.

I thought I was brave enough to ask her to give up but in the end, all I said was 'Okay.'

Should I thank God that you're away from Singapore right now or should I be sad that you're not here when I needed you the most? This is so complicated and however strong I am, I reckon I'm cracking under all this shit that Allison and you have put me through.

I surrender. I give up.

Next time you call, we will be just friends.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Naively thought that being busy could put you out of my mind.

Back and forth you pace in my concious.

Never giving me a break, even though you're miles away.

When you come back, I'll make things right.

I promise.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

I getting sick of being the best in whatever subjects I do in. The expectations are getting heavier and heavier and my brain is beginning to work slower and slower. No joy found in the knowledge that I had gained.

Feel like pushing all the notes away.

Feel like drowning into a resting phase where all I had to do is nothing.

Feel like being just another student with an average GPA.

Feel like be not giving a damn to studies.

Feel like being a kid once again.

Just let me be the average me. Don't mention my GPA again.

Don't.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Lab Report to be handed up on Thurs.

Cell Bio quiz next friday.

HPI tutorial quiz next friday.

HPI quiz next friday.

Basic Microbiology next friday.

How exciting. Haha...

Thursday, November 16, 2006

People are under this misconception that I know everything.

Hmph.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Some guys are in denial and think that they are the hottest guys in school. Too bad they don't realise that they are just OKAY.

Some guys are in denial and think that they attract every single girl in school. Too bad they don't realise that some girls view them in disgust.

Some guys are in denial and think that they look good in eyeliner. Too bad they don't realise that they look more like a zombie than a J-POP rockstar.

Some guys are in denial and think that they are so clever that they can label girls as 'stupid'. Too bad they don't realise that some girls are cleverer but had decided to let them keep they pride by not criticising them.

Guys out there, don't ever be like the guys mentioned above.

Don't be egoistic. Cos' in the end, you're the one that's going to suffer.

Don't put up an air of self-importance. Cos' you're someone we could do without.

Don't think that girls can't live without you. Cos' girls are stronger than you guys think.

AND GIRLS!

Show some self-respect. Don't be a flirty bitch to get a guy's attention.

Even if you got his attention, the attraction won't last long. Cos' it has never been mutual.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Imagine the calories I've taken when I ate 'Prawns and Shrooms' from Pastamania. The rich creamy prawn bisque, the thinly sliced shitake mushrooms and the wholesomely succulent tiger prawns. This is a highly recommended dish if you ever go Pastamania. It tastes really good. *thumbs up*

However, there's a price you've to pay when you eat this. Unlike most pastas from Pastamania, a plate of 'Prawns and Shrooms' cost $10.90. So unless you've the money and the heart to spend it on this pasta... then don't bother trying it.

Speaking about spending money, I was just reminded that I've spent quite a sum today. $30++ spent on food and Mount Zion's stuff. Mind you, $30++ for someone with no income and other financial means is a lot. I've to watch how I spend my money from now onwards. However, the 30 bucks are money well-spent.

Anyway, most of the things I want are just worldly desires which I suppose I can live without.

Besides, if I have God, I have everything.

There He is, placed on the throne of my heart and for everything I do, it will be glory unto Him. For He shall lead him in paths of righteousness for his name's sake and His word will be a lamp to my feet.

It's different, when you accept Christ and allow Him into your life. Doors will be opened for you and you can take every step with faith, believing that whatever path you take, He will be watching over you. And along the way, He answers your doubts.

That's how great He is.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Opposite Directions

The hostility of the name that appeared at the right bottom corner of the screen struck hard, wounding its vines around his heart. Despite all the years of knowing that person, Drake found the name strange, so strange that it actually hurts. All the memories had proven themselves again, they are just memories, worthy of nothing else.

Memories are vulnerable. They fade away ever constantly, till all people can remember are bit and pieces with no ease of flow, with bright white patches within them. Or should we say that the human's brain is weak? So weak that they don't remember things down to the slightest details?

In the dark room, accompanied by nothing by the steady tapping of the keys and the light radiating from the pixilated computer screen. Scrolling down the MSN conversation window, Drake searched for that name again.

The name that evoked such hostility and yet such strong emotions. Emotions that filled the corners of his heart, making it feel heavier than ever - as if threatening to choke him under its weight.

In the list of his added friends, he could no longer find that name. It always happened. Before he could find that name, the owner always logged off first. Is this a trick fate is playing on them?

'Samuel'

The name, as well as the person was becoming elusive. Every time Drake tried to grasp it, all he grabbed was thin air. As much as he didn't want to admit it, the both of them had descended from 'Soul mates' to 'Best Friends' to 'Just Friends' and then to 'Mere Acquaintances'. Someday, on the door to their friendship, a 'Strangers' tag would be hung.

Those who walked pass these door would either snicker or shake their heads in pity. How did a blossoming friendship arrived in this state? Perhaps it was the fact that nobody took the effort to maintain the tower and that was why it became dilapidated and collapsed.

And now, it was nothing but a smoldering pile of dust. How easy will it be, to build the tower again, as magnificent as the first? Very difficult. Sometimes, things just don't last. That's why they were beautiful.

Because beautiful things don't last for eternity.

'Friends are forever.' was being overused and overrated in Drake's opinion. How many can fulfill the requirements that this sentence demanded of us. He thought he was fulfilling it, until time intervened and drove a wedge between the Samuel and him. Time is a strong weapon. Just like a sharp blade, it could slice off the bonds in one swing. A clean cut, once and for all.

A familiar noise shook him back from his thoughts and a conversation window popped up.

It was his 'friend' of nine years, Samuel.

Obligated, Drake chatted with him, about those daily stuff with no specific significance. Soon, their conversation reached a dead end where neither of them could continue. This was an easy task in the past, where they were happily studying in the same elementary school. They could talk about anything under the sun.

Once again, time had shown its abilities to pull two people apart.

Maybe this was the reason why the both of them had stopped calling each other. They fear the lingering silence that would punctuate their sentences. Every question asked will be answered by a short sentence, worse still, it may be an one-word answer.

They had never really put in the effort to keep this friendship going. Sometimes, Drake had asked Samuel out but never once was he given an exact answer. Many times had his confidence dropping and finally, he gave up.

Completely.

Another sound from the conversation window informed Drake that Samuel was saying bye to him.

And then he was gone, even before Drake could return a farewell.

Then Drake understood.

The both of them had moved on in their own life.

Just that they had proceeded in the opposite directions and their paths never intersecting.

Staring at the screen, Drake smiled sadly.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Just now you called and there was more silence than words.

You were tired, I can hear it from your voice.

It should be dark on your side.

Where did the ease go to?

When was the last we talked freely?

Which way are we supposed to take?

What had exactly happened between us, that toppled everything?

How?

And I thought I'm not missing you.

The Story of the Cursed Shirt

It happens everytime I wear this particular blue shirt to school. I wear it, something will happen that makes me remember the events in a day for quite some time. A few months back, I wore this shirt and I could still remember in detail what happened during that day. Details that were so ever prominent.

And yesterday, I wore it to school again. Before I went to school, I thought 'things better don't happen to make me remember this day as well'. Perhaps it was the fact that I didn't pray before I dove right into the day but anyway, things did happen.

Believe it or not, it was one of those very worst days.

Anyway, I'm not going to mention it but still, I think I have to make an apology right here again.

Sorry to Juan Koh, whom I apparently had slapped her too hard on the back and triggered off her tears. Really really sorry.

On a lighter note, I've found a good place in the TP's library that showed off a whole shelve packed with DEAN KOONTZ'S pieces. I was elated like mad when I saw it. Now, I can save money on books already. Haha... so happy.

Finally, I've successfully went through another Tuesday and another French Tutorial. Great.

Next time I choose my CDS, I will choose it very very carefully.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Week 2 had just passed in a zap and this week was just troubling.

-Had my first ever French tutorial and it wasn't as bad as I had thought.
-Tuition had paused since Wednesday and I welcomed the break.
-Labs were bearable, just somehow pissed at the microscopes.
-Learnt how to play 'dai-di' or 'Big Old 2'(as quoted form Juan) in this week.
-The breaks between lessons were good for games.
-HPI isn't too friendly a subject.

This week, I'm going to spend a lot and tomorrow, it is Peiquan's birthday. I guess I'll just see her at a later date to celebrate her birthday, which will be belated by then.

Okay. Nothing much to say. I've got stuff to deal with.