Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Took on a role of a hairdresser for my Dad today. Not exactly smooth-sailing cos' his ear was getting in the way of the scissors. Dad said it's okay but I tugged his strands out instead of cut it. Mum reckoned I should have cut more. I think it's not bad for a first-timer. Then it was dinner at 264. Not too bad and I realised Mum is pinning very high hopes on me.
Something is bugging me but I can't put my finger on it.
Bye.
thought it thru' at 9:52 PM
Friday, September 22, 2006
[A] dangerously straightforward person with a disregard for competition between others and her.
[B]eing the 2nd child and daughter of Mr LPH and Mdm SCH and has a sister 3 yrs her elder.
[C]urrently being tortured by the subjects in TP's biotechnology.(Actually, I'm on vaction.)
[D]on't give compliments easily but if I do, that means you're really good in my eyes.
[E]veryone who knows me and knows me well enough, should know that I have limited tolerance and also, I DON'T mug.
[F]riends are those angels sent by God to colour your life and make those obstacles in life not so intimidating -That's why I treasure them.
[G]ive more than you take: It's so blardy difficult but yeah, I'm still learning.=)
[H]e's the one that sculpted me into the person I am today - Lord, thank you.(",)
[I] had been an (in)active participant of the TAF club throughout my secondary school life: I'm also a sports imbecile. Bleah...who cares.
[J]ust got over a rough phase and I reckoned I've gained a whole new perspective in LIFE. Gotten emotionally and mentally stronger too.
[K]icking a fuss out of nothing annoys me a great deal and I hate dealing with annoying people.
[L]osing control of those stubborn tears is another thing I dislike a great deal. I don't like crying. Crying makes me feel weak. Though there are times you just can't control...
[M]y significant half will be someone I can be proud of and also, I want to be someone he can be proud of too.
[N]owadays, I look at primary and secondary school students and think, "Was I like that in the pass?"
[O]f all those possible humane emotions, I like 'motivated' the best and 'helplessness' the least.
[P]roud owner of quite some books, a not-so-flashy camera, sets of comics and the super-single bed(Irrelevant, I know).
[Q]uiet times are good, they make you think through stuff and sort out your emotional mess.
[R]eserved when the crowd is too big for my liking. I don't like attention or the limelight. You never know if the crowd is laughing with you or laughing at you.
[S]pilt-personality. Don't you know that I have one? Haha...
[T]hank you for bothering to read till here. Now let's continue.
[U]ncertain about this moment. And really, it sucks.
[V]ery very very very greedy when it comes to sleep and don't come disturb me when I'm sleeping cos' it will be deadly.
[W]ishes happen when you put expectations on others. Hence, I seldom wish cos' I don't like to expect someone to do something for me. Yeah, I'm a realist.
[X]ando pills makes Moses Lim shed off 10 kilograms. Amazing but I won't try that. Truth is, I'm financially unable to pay for it.
[Y]ES! Almost done... 1 last thing... I dislike smokers, especially those who smoke in places where smoking is prohibited. Annoying.
[Z]zzz....
thought it thru' at 7:53 PM
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Mum has always told me never to place too much emphasis on the results, if not I'll lose the meaning of the whole process. I don't really understand what she meant but when I grew older, I began to grasp the essence of her words. I understood and I applied it to my life.
That's probably why I wasn't very much affected by not being able to make it into ASc subcomm. If I were to say that I wasn't disappointed, I will be lying to myself. True, I'm a little disappointed but I got over it very quickly(so quick that I surprised myself). Afterall, I lost nothing but instead, learnt something over the few days in the camp.
God never grant people with a life free from disappointments and with each disappointment thrown at you, you just get stronger and stronger, never the opposite. And I have to say, this is a disappointment I had in a very long time. I just got to accept the fact that in some areas, I'm not as good as the others.
And after this episode, I just got better at dealing at this disappointment. Luckily, I'm one of the optimists and that's why I'm not very bothered by this little disappointment. I'm a child of God, so I just gotta believe that he'd got better plans for me. Without any CCA at the moment, I think I'll just devote my time to studying and my tuition-ing.
Someday, a better plan and a better opportunity will come along. And at that time, I won't hesitate to grab it. Life like this, isn't it? With those peaks and valleys, you just need to learn to pick yourself up from each fall and with each failure, you just learn how to be stronger. This, is the whole point to life.
I'm grateful that Mum taught me that saying and also I think I've mastered the art of 'Ping Chang Xin' and that's why I seldom feel stressed, despite those exams and quizzes. And these two points are the secret to doing academically well in school, and probably, in life.
And one more thing...
CONGRATS TO THOSE WHO MADE IT TO SUBCOMM! YOU GUYS ARE SUPERB! =)
And for those who didn't(like me)... you can cry, feel disappointed or inferior but don't forget to stand up again. There's definitely more to life. =)
PS: Help me tag my board so that it looks fuller than it is now. It will be very much appreciated. =)
thought it thru' at 2:00 PM
Friday, September 15, 2006
Have been staying at home for the past few days, leaving only to my Grandma's house for dinner and also for tuition which is always held at night. Probably without the stress of school or the anticipation for results, I'm feeling very much at peace, except for random grumbles and naggings from my dad.
I like this kind of life, where you just have to worry about how you're going to spend your time. It gives you ample time to think through stuff and reflect on yourself. For me, this is the perfect time to rearrange those thoughts that had been neglected for long.
For some reasons, I felt like I've been brought closer to God. You can't help but feel that He makes the best things happen. True, there are times where I forgot about His existence, especially when I'm too caught up with school and my friends.
However, he will always do those little things to remind you that He still loves you. This made me feel guilty. Many times, we only turn to God in times of troubles and seek help yet we forget to thank him in times of glory. But He being the almighty one, didn't charge that to our accounts.
In conclusion, the love He gives us is a selfless one. I thank him for blessing me, for guiding me and most importantly, for carving me into this person I am today. He makes me feel I'm capable by giving me confidence. He makes me feel strong by giving me determination.
How great is He huh? I think His greatness is out of measurement.
I'm glad that my Mum reminded me to thank God for my results and I'm grateful. =)
thought it thru' at 12:25 PM
Monday, September 11, 2006
People, I'm back from the camp yesterday with less than half of my life force left. After this camp, I'm finally convinced that the ass has the most muscles cos' my ass is hurting like nobody's business: Muscle Ache. This ache extends to my thigh and bravo, I have to exercise caution when I sit down. Haha...
On the whole, this is one of the toughest camp I have ever attended in my whole fat life.
Scratch those Orientations, scratch those Team-building camps. They paled in comparision to
this ASc training camp.
If you think that this camp is all about station games and those high elements, think again. It is
something whereby you're constantly pushed to your personal limits and you can't just stop
there - You have to go beyond it. I stepped out of my comfort zone, took the challenge and
still managed to survive, despite those emotional stress, those physical lethargy and the mental
kind of shit. If you know what I'm talking about.
Before attending the camp. I calculated the amount of hours I have to stay in the camp
without the comfort of my house to be 48 hours. In these 48 hours, the amount I sleep was
barely six and I only get to bathe once.
I'm not the only one who ended in this situation. There are 67 of us who suffered through this,
together.
Day 1:
Reached school at 6pm and the night started with debriefs and ice-breakers. After the ice-
breakers, we went back to LT8 and supposedly, we are to watch 'Remember the Titans'.
However, the appliance failed to work so this activity went to the drain. So in place of a movie,
we played more games that were challenging.
After the games, we were allocated to our bunks, which are classrooms and eventually some of
us went down for the supper. Lights out at 12 midnight but probably due to the excitement of
camp and the high amount of energy most have, we didn't really sleep.
Some tossed and turned about (like me and Liwei), some just closed their eyes (Adelyn) while
most chatted. And I thought I heard the munching of chips too. Haha...
Everyone of us assumed, from the timetable given, that we are only supposed to report at 8am
for morning exercise. In the end, it turned out that the timetable was deliberately given to us
as a fake one.
Day 2:
We were woken up at 3.30am in the morning to do running and some team-building games. The
rope one sounded stupid but still, have to play. Imagine, it's 3.30am where the outside is
freezing cold and you have to do running. Crap right?
The very early morning ended at 4 plus and there was no more rest for us. At 5, we gathered
and went into a class room to play games with poker cards. After the poker cards games, we
were grouped into : Wom Por(wrong spelling), French Road, Clementi and Bukit Merah. Each
team contained around 16-18 people. I'm in Clementi.
Maybe God is looking over me or what, I was grouped with two of my classmates who went:
Liwei and Nicky. We did a Tower Building game in the spot assigned to us and we managed to
maximised our profits and emerged the winner (together with another group). Well done guys!
At 7 sharp, we went to the LT whereby the groups were given a real-life Task: To give a house
a makeover. We were assigned a Clementi apartment. After discussions and taking of those
tents (we were to spend a night in Changi) and stuff, we set off for clementi and reached
around 10. Two of the team members went to York Hill to do another assignment.
We ate our lunch(chicken rice) with the life expenses given and bought cleaning stuff with the
$20 seed money. Due to some problems, we were only able to get into the house at 12 plus.
Liwei and I were among the firsts to get into the house and when we really do get into it, our
minds went into a state of blank.
I won't describe the house but I will post the pictures if I can get them. It was dirty, messy and
unhygenic beyond what your imagination can think about. It was a one-room flat but really,
unfit for human inhabitation. The image of the house will be imprinted permanently in my brain.
The cleaning of the house started and we cleaned (not me, cos' I was running around buying
stuff as I was in charge of the money). We have to leave at 2 for the camp site and so we did.
Cleaning resumed the next days.
At the site, we played two games. One was the filling water one and the other was the rope
one. After which we went(RAN) for dinner at Old Changi Village and the dinner was chicken rice again. Night Trail started at 8pm and we went to OCGH and the Commando Barracks.
Sick right?
It's not just one big group. It's three in a group. Luckily, Jiemin and Nelson was able to provide
me with comfort. Actually, we comforted each other with our presence. OCGH's walk was worse
than the Commando Barracks one. Haha...but just slightly.
Day 3:
The walk ended at 12 midnight and Jiemin and I walked back to our camp site which was miles
away. We didn't know we could get a ride! We took an hour plus to walk back and honestly, my
feet was already at the point of giving way. Bathed quickly and went back to the tent.
If I'm not wrong, at 2am, the whole group was still discussing the proposal for sponsorship (for
the house) in the boys' tent and finally at 3 plus, we were done. Finally it was sleeping time and
bravo, we haven't get to sleep for 24hours straight.
At 6, we woke up and washed up and packed the tents. It was breakfast time and our group
just bought plain bread and 4 1.5L mineral water. Maybe it's my imagination but I thought that
the bread tasted salty. Haha...
At 8.45am, we travelled to Clementi again and did serious cleaning to the house. Bought
storage items (which we think that the house seriously needed) at Clementi Central, rations and
lunch for all of us. This time, it is duck rice. We made some more astonishing discoveries in the
house and the thought of them are revolting.
The cleaning ended at 4 and finally, we need to head back to school. Along the way, I did the
account report with the help of Liwei and managed to finish a part of it. In the LT, the counting
of money began and the accounts wasn't right. The Life Expenses was okay but not the Project
financing.
But still thanks to Hui Jing and all those who calculated it with their handphones for extending a
helping hand when I needed it. Thank you!
For now, I just have to wait for Ms Hor's call to ask why the accounts aren't so accurate.
Haha... Hope she won't call lah...
After debrief and reflections, the camp officially ended. Frankly speaking, I wasn't that happy, I
was reluctant.
5 things I had learned from this Leadership Training Camp:
1. Learnt to have a big heart to accept the fact that sometimes whatever we do will not be
appreciated. (From the tiger beer incident) However, we know we did touch the toddlers' soul,
especially Xavier.
2. Our limits weren't defined. We know that everytime we thought we've reached a limit, we
have to push ourselves somemore just because there's still more to go.
3. In a group, there's bound to be Leaders and Followers. Leaders alone don't make things
happen, it's the whole TEAM that did. We should really applaud ourselves for cooperating and
collaborating to get the cleaning done.
4. Never quit to obstacles and your boundaries. Instead, cross over it and you will see a whole
new world.
5. It's tough to do the cleaning, to suffer without sleep and bathing, to do the digusting trek
into OCGH and Commando Barracks but with the people beside you, supporting, encouraging and pushing you up along the way, the whole journey becomes more enjoyable, more tolerable and not so tough anymore. There's nothing such as a 'One-Man Show' in a team.
If time is turned back and I have to struggled between the choice of going and not going to this
LTC, I would still have chose to go.
This experience had contributed to my growth to not only being a leader but also as a person.
Suddenly, me able to get into the sub-committee of ASc or not doesn't seem to matter that
much because I know, this camp had changed me positively, for life.
So, no regrets. =)
Lastly, thanks to God who is watching over me during this whole camp and for the
determination he had given me for not collasping under stress and lethargy. Never will he
forsake me, never will he leave me alone. Thank you God. =)
PS: I have broken my record. This is my longest post ever. Did this because 10 years later, I
can look back and smile at this fulfilling experience. Haha...
On the whole, this is one of the toughest camp I have ever attended in my whole fat life.
Scratch those Orientations, scratch those Team-building camps. They paled in comparision to
this ASc training camp.
If you think that this camp is all about station games and those high elements, think again. It is
something whereby you're constantly pushed to your personal limits and you can't just stop
there - You have to go beyond it. I stepped out of my comfort zone, took the challenge and
still managed to survive, despite those emotional stress, those physical lethargy and the mental
kind of shit. If you know what I'm talking about.
Before attending the camp. I calculated the amount of hours I have to stay in the camp
without the comfort of my house to be 48 hours. In these 48 hours, the amount I sleep was
barely six and I only get to bathe once.
I'm not the only one who ended in this situation. There are 67 of us who suffered through this,
together.
Day 1:
Reached school at 6pm and the night started with debriefs and ice-breakers. After the ice-
breakers, we went back to LT8 and supposedly, we are to watch 'Remember the Titans'.
However, the appliance failed to work so this activity went to the drain. So in place of a movie,
we played more games that were challenging.
After the games, we were allocated to our bunks, which are classrooms and eventually some of
us went down for the supper. Lights out at 12 midnight but probably due to the excitement of
camp and the high amount of energy most have, we didn't really sleep.
Some tossed and turned about (like me and Liwei), some just closed their eyes (Adelyn) while
most chatted. And I thought I heard the munching of chips too. Haha...
Everyone of us assumed, from the timetable given, that we are only supposed to report at 8am
for morning exercise. In the end, it turned out that the timetable was deliberately given to us
as a fake one.
Day 2:
We were woken up at 3.30am in the morning to do running and some team-building games. The
rope one sounded stupid but still, have to play. Imagine, it's 3.30am where the outside is
freezing cold and you have to do running. Crap right?
The very early morning ended at 4 plus and there was no more rest for us. At 5, we gathered
and went into a class room to play games with poker cards. After the poker cards games, we
were grouped into : Wom Por(wrong spelling), French Road, Clementi and Bukit Merah. Each
team contained around 16-18 people. I'm in Clementi.
Maybe God is looking over me or what, I was grouped with two of my classmates who went:
Liwei and Nicky. We did a Tower Building game in the spot assigned to us and we managed to
maximised our profits and emerged the winner (together with another group). Well done guys!
At 7 sharp, we went to the LT whereby the groups were given a real-life Task: To give a house
a makeover. We were assigned a Clementi apartment. After discussions and taking of those
tents (we were to spend a night in Changi) and stuff, we set off for clementi and reached
around 10. Two of the team members went to York Hill to do another assignment.
We ate our lunch(chicken rice) with the life expenses given and bought cleaning stuff with the
$20 seed money. Due to some problems, we were only able to get into the house at 12 plus.
Liwei and I were among the firsts to get into the house and when we really do get into it, our
minds went into a state of blank.
I won't describe the house but I will post the pictures if I can get them. It was dirty, messy and
unhygenic beyond what your imagination can think about. It was a one-room flat but really,
unfit for human inhabitation. The image of the house will be imprinted permanently in my brain.
The cleaning of the house started and we cleaned (not me, cos' I was running around buying
stuff as I was in charge of the money). We have to leave at 2 for the camp site and so we did.
Cleaning resumed the next days.
At the site, we played two games. One was the filling water one and the other was the rope
one. After which we went(RAN) for dinner at Old Changi Village and the dinner was chicken rice again. Night Trail started at 8pm and we went to OCGH and the Commando Barracks.
Sick right?
It's not just one big group. It's three in a group. Luckily, Jiemin and Nelson was able to provide
me with comfort. Actually, we comforted each other with our presence. OCGH's walk was worse
than the Commando Barracks one. Haha...but just slightly.
Day 3:
The walk ended at 12 midnight and Jiemin and I walked back to our camp site which was miles
away. We didn't know we could get a ride! We took an hour plus to walk back and honestly, my
feet was already at the point of giving way. Bathed quickly and went back to the tent.
If I'm not wrong, at 2am, the whole group was still discussing the proposal for sponsorship (for
the house) in the boys' tent and finally at 3 plus, we were done. Finally it was sleeping time and
bravo, we haven't get to sleep for 24hours straight.
At 6, we woke up and washed up and packed the tents. It was breakfast time and our group
just bought plain bread and 4 1.5L mineral water. Maybe it's my imagination but I thought that
the bread tasted salty. Haha...
At 8.45am, we travelled to Clementi again and did serious cleaning to the house. Bought
storage items (which we think that the house seriously needed) at Clementi Central, rations and
lunch for all of us. This time, it is duck rice. We made some more astonishing discoveries in the
house and the thought of them are revolting.
The cleaning ended at 4 and finally, we need to head back to school. Along the way, I did the
account report with the help of Liwei and managed to finish a part of it. In the LT, the counting
of money began and the accounts wasn't right. The Life Expenses was okay but not the Project
financing.
But still thanks to Hui Jing and all those who calculated it with their handphones for extending a
helping hand when I needed it. Thank you!
For now, I just have to wait for Ms Hor's call to ask why the accounts aren't so accurate.
Haha... Hope she won't call lah...
After debrief and reflections, the camp officially ended. Frankly speaking, I wasn't that happy, I
was reluctant.
5 things I had learned from this Leadership Training Camp:
1. Learnt to have a big heart to accept the fact that sometimes whatever we do will not be
appreciated. (From the tiger beer incident) However, we know we did touch the toddlers' soul,
especially Xavier.
2. Our limits weren't defined. We know that everytime we thought we've reached a limit, we
have to push ourselves somemore just because there's still more to go.
3. In a group, there's bound to be Leaders and Followers. Leaders alone don't make things
happen, it's the whole TEAM that did. We should really applaud ourselves for cooperating and
collaborating to get the cleaning done.
4. Never quit to obstacles and your boundaries. Instead, cross over it and you will see a whole
new world.
5. It's tough to do the cleaning, to suffer without sleep and bathing, to do the digusting trek
into OCGH and Commando Barracks but with the people beside you, supporting, encouraging and pushing you up along the way, the whole journey becomes more enjoyable, more tolerable and not so tough anymore. There's nothing such as a 'One-Man Show' in a team.
If time is turned back and I have to struggled between the choice of going and not going to this
LTC, I would still have chose to go.
This experience had contributed to my growth to not only being a leader but also as a person.
Suddenly, me able to get into the sub-committee of ASc or not doesn't seem to matter that
much because I know, this camp had changed me positively, for life.
So, no regrets. =)
Lastly, thanks to God who is watching over me during this whole camp and for the
determination he had given me for not collasping under stress and lethargy. Never will he
forsake me, never will he leave me alone. Thank you God. =)
can look back and smile at this fulfilling experience. Haha...
thought it thru' at 8:13 PM
Friday, September 08, 2006
Be brave.
Have more courage.
Be more confident.
And that's enough. =)
How can I possibly lose to the 'me' in the past?
thought it thru' at 2:02 PM
