Tuesday, June 28, 2005

I sat down in front of this screen and thought back about my holidays. There had been plans I had drawn out, plans that I wanted to carry out during the month. But then, the holiday timetable came along and shattered them.

The main disappointment wasn't not being able to change a new blogskin, it wasn't not being able to touch on much on my folio; the main disappointment was not being able to catch up with my primary school friends, friends who are drifting further and further away from me.

Many times when I tried to dial their number and at least talk to them over the phone, my pride would destroy it all. I'm afriad that they will be so busy that they find me an irritance to disrupt their proceedings. I fear the lingering silent that may intervene when we find no common topics. That was so depressing.

Pride. What's up with this silly thing? I could not put it aside. This was the reason why I seldom took the initiative to ask people out. I would rather they are the ones who ask me out. Yeah, I am that stubborn.

But it's just me.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Feel so terrible today. I thought I heard my heart crack and shatter. Those tears flow down my cheeks but no one cared. I'm being abandoned. But I don't wanna be alone, it really hurts. I'm so tired. I've been working hard too, but nobody noticed that.

I'm really tired. Just let me wallow in this frustration and sadness now, just let it leave an impact on me. I don't want to forget these emotions when I wake up tomorrow morning.

Good-night.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

It's been a long day today, really long.

I'm so physically tired, but mentally, I'm still strong.

I pray when I need reassurance.

I pray when I feel all weak and helpless.

The Lord is my shepherd and my light.

He guide me through the paths filled with thorns, making sure that I'm safe by the end of it.

He light my ways even through the darkest times.

I will walk in his spirit and his soul forever and ever.

And I'll never fall, as long as he is with me.

..*..

Sometimes at night, I wonder who I am without God. There were times when I felt battered by school and so many other things. I feel like crying but through prayer, I become strong again. I'm afraid no more as long as he is with me. That's why I love Him!

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Finally I am motivated enough to fix my blog! I was feeling exceptionally lazy for the past week or so. Yesterday's Chinese Paper was all right but the comprehesion is kind of tricky. For the rest of the sections, I think I did quite all right. Anyway, I hope I can get an A1 once and for all, don't wanna retake again. If I get a 2, well...let's talk about it if I really get an A2.

Yesterday's night was Dunman MTP session for the Sec 4 again. I went along with my friends 'cos I told my parents it was okay if they don't come. I was expecting a level position of 40-50+ and a class position of 7 or 8. Okay, then I opened the book and was surprised to see that I'm the fourth! I meant, for the past few days I had been thinking who is the fourth in class.

I skip my career guidance seminar today. Had been planning to skip these whole thing with my friends. But I never knew if they actually went or not. Truth be told, I rather not know. Ignorance is bliss.

Tomorrow onwards, it will be the start of the horrible holidays' schedule! You won't believe how they arranged the time. It's so damn packed especially with DnT. OMG...I am now seriously lamenting my choice of taking up DnT as an extra subject.

Dog Slimming...